I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
