happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
