I love black thongs
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
