Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
time to smoke my breakfast
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
