if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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