I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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