Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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