im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
