"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
