Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
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