I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
