ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
