He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
