the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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