I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
