Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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