Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
