apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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