Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
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