I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
