Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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