every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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