I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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