can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
