she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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