The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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