God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
