we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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