we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
