Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
