Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
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