the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
