You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
