I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
