so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
