O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
