All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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