I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
