Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
