Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Small penises have feelings too.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
