He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
