When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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