Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
