You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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