I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
