you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
