anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
