so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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