She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The feeling are messing with the penis
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
