just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
