Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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