hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
