Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
not ubering you a puppy
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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