drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
